Been keeping quiet for a while though life definitely has not. And by life, I mean my Zen. and by Zen, I mean my son. To write about him or how having him in my world has altered my life 180 degrees deserves a post (or more) on its own so let's keep that for later. What triggered me to write was the melancholy feeling I have been having lately, usually around 28 days apart. Lol.
And what gave opportunity for this feeling to linger on was having the idle time letting my mind wanders. That, to me, is the downside of breastfeeding. The lack of control you have over your mind when your body gives in to your child's demand. I truly love that bonding session with Zen but once do'a and lullaby time are done and he is done tossing and turning, and goes to mid slumber, I am alone with my thoughts.
And my thoughts are seldom happy.
Sometimes I worry about the future. Sometimes I dwell on the past. and sometimes I get upset about the present. It feels like a ball of haywire is stuck on my brain and the more I try to unravel it, the messier it gets.
So I thought it's best if I start remembering what I loved to do, before (adult) life took control of me dinosaur years ago. And then I remembered how I love writing. Mostly poems, but I guess I wrote them best during my angst or lovestruck times, which I don't think I am now. Or maybe I've grown up and mellowed down a bit?
S'okay. Will take this as a practice ;p
Stay tuned.
