I couldn't believe my eyes... as he walked into the room, walking ever so sexily like a Calvin Klein model, no, supermodel! With his hair slicked back like that, a strand or two falling smoothly on his forehead, his maroon shirt unbuttoned on the top, revealing a bit of his perfectly toned chests,and with shiny black pants hanging on his well built legs; he looked like a cross between Brad Pitt, especially on the facial posture and Tom Cruise on the eyes.
He walked past the first few rows of booths, leaving the girls sitting there gaping like idiots, ignoring their dates who looked pathetically worried. When he reached the booth I was sitting in, he pulled up a chair and sat. When his eyes saw mine, he smiled that beautiful smile of his. I couldn't help but stare at him like the girls at the other booths as if he was the most beautiful creature I've ever seen. Then again, maybe he is!
I still couldn't believe that it was Valentine's Day and he was sitting in front of me. Me, Misha binti Murad, the unpopular Headmaster's daughter, and not my bestfriend Farah Coleena, the Beauty Queen of Seremban High School. Farah and I have been bestfriends since we were eight. Despite our opposite qualities, we will and always be the best of friends, keeping the oath we made long time ago.
I have always been secretly envious of her looks and charm. The way she made guys swoon and head over heels just by glancing a micro minute at them. She's loved by her family, friends and teachers. She's everyone's favourite and I'm just her sidekick. We've been dubbed "The Beauty and The Brain". It hurts, although I always pretended I didn't care and just laughed it off.
It hurts that we are so different. Why can't we both be beautiful and popular? Life would be much easier. It's not that Farah is taking advantage of being friends with me, like copying all my homework just because she's too busy with her social life. No, she's nothing like that. Instead, she's been the total opposite, like trying to fit me in with her other cool friends, doing make overs on me and introducing me to the guys she knew. It's just that I can't pretend anymore. I've always dreamed that some day, some guy will like me, not her.
And there he was, sitting in front of me, looking extra gorgeous (if that is possible) with his eyes on me. A dream came true. My mind drifted into a fantasy of me wearing a beautiful gown in arms of my shiny knight in armor, him, on a white horse when suddenly he interrupted me, saying, "So, about Farah,..."
-I wrote this essay in English class, back when I read too many Sweet Valleys and when Brad Pitt was still a bachelor and Tom Cruise was still sane. 2001.
November 6, 2011
September 24, 2011
Lily of The Valley
The last time I saw her was at my Raya open house. She came early, with her sister Aly who cooked amazing curry for the roti jala that she brought. While Aly cooked and mum last-touching up the food, Lily kept me company. She looked like she was cold so I gave her a blanket, which she just put aside. I was mopping and she was watching. I felt comfortable with her there, chatting a little. Aly came to the living room, taking a break. "Aik, macam tu ke mop?" she teased. I wasn't that pissed so I kept quiet. No point arguing with midde aged ladies who's been doing it for years, and besides, her curry's awesome. Lily argued, "Dia dah mop satu lantai tadi. Ni second round."
After 2 rounds of express mopping, I laid on the sofa, tired. Lily was more concern about my migraine and slight diziness, than the cancer that she's been fighting for more than 4 years. Mum finished preparing, walked to the living room, saw me with my legs up, relaxing on the sofa. "Amboi, baring ke?", she asked sarcastically. Before I could give any smart remark, Lily came to my defense, "Dia penat tu. Dia kemas tadi". The two went on about me deserving/not deserving that rest while I kept laying there, happily.
Today, in the car with mum, I randomly commented, "No wonder everyone loves Aunty Lily, kan". "What do you mean?" asked mum. " Remember during the open house? She defended me even though she didn't have to. And like you said, she always defended whoever that's being scold." I recalled mum telling me that Lily's the favourite of the family. Although timid, she's very soft, loving and always defended her children against her sister/mum's criticism. "It's hard not to love her" I added.
Next 30 minutes, with mum and Aly in the car, we got a call that Lily collapsed. We hurried through bad trafic, got there in double the time it usually take, and got the worst news. Lily's gone. Everything happened so fast. The moaning, the crying, the staring, the funeral, the burial. But I couldn't help but wonder, she even left at a convenient time, not wanting to trouble anyone. At a Saturday, when everyone's not busy. In the afternoon, when there's ample time for the process to be done before dusk. In Syawal, after her kids could celebrate Raya with her. This year, when her second daughter has finished her Diploma and her sister got job offers, after sacrificing her work to look after her for years. She had even told the Ustaz how she wanted things to be done, so it will go smoothly.
The only inconvenience was, it rained today. But how else could the sky weeps for losing someone sweet like Lily?
Al-Fatihah
After 2 rounds of express mopping, I laid on the sofa, tired. Lily was more concern about my migraine and slight diziness, than the cancer that she's been fighting for more than 4 years. Mum finished preparing, walked to the living room, saw me with my legs up, relaxing on the sofa. "Amboi, baring ke?", she asked sarcastically. Before I could give any smart remark, Lily came to my defense, "Dia penat tu. Dia kemas tadi". The two went on about me deserving/not deserving that rest while I kept laying there, happily.
Today, in the car with mum, I randomly commented, "No wonder everyone loves Aunty Lily, kan". "What do you mean?" asked mum. " Remember during the open house? She defended me even though she didn't have to. And like you said, she always defended whoever that's being scold." I recalled mum telling me that Lily's the favourite of the family. Although timid, she's very soft, loving and always defended her children against her sister/mum's criticism. "It's hard not to love her" I added.
Next 30 minutes, with mum and Aly in the car, we got a call that Lily collapsed. We hurried through bad trafic, got there in double the time it usually take, and got the worst news. Lily's gone. Everything happened so fast. The moaning, the crying, the staring, the funeral, the burial. But I couldn't help but wonder, she even left at a convenient time, not wanting to trouble anyone. At a Saturday, when everyone's not busy. In the afternoon, when there's ample time for the process to be done before dusk. In Syawal, after her kids could celebrate Raya with her. This year, when her second daughter has finished her Diploma and her sister got job offers, after sacrificing her work to look after her for years. She had even told the Ustaz how she wanted things to be done, so it will go smoothly.
The only inconvenience was, it rained today. But how else could the sky weeps for losing someone sweet like Lily?
Al-Fatihah
August 24, 2011
Baik tak kawan
baik tak bodoh
diam tak bisu
maaf tak lupa
layan tak suka
tutup tak pekak
tangis tak tulus
tenang tak bebal
kawan tak kenal?
diam tak bisu
maaf tak lupa
layan tak suka
tutup tak pekak
tangis tak tulus
tenang tak bebal
kawan tak kenal?
April 24, 2011
Lovesick Traveller
It's been 24 days. I still miss it. I catch myself several times a day daydreaming about it. I mentally knock my head with a hammer every time I see something that was cheaper there. And also the Cherry Coke incident at the airport. 3 bottles... 5.4 Euros I'll never see again. And why the freak did I buy the "&" block instead of "E"? Or ANY letter. Or more letters? I DID spent 3 hours there specifically. Everything sounds nicer there. Even a dodgy place like La Chapelle... Sigh...
And I should've taken more pictures. Why can't I be one of those people who takes pictures of EVERYTHING? Then I'd have more things to show. Now I understand why my oh-I'm-so-artistic-I-take-pictures-of-everything-but-myself photography-lover/photographer-wannabe friends crane their heads to the weirdest angle possible, lie on their back shamelessly, carry that huge bulky SLR on their neck religiously. I learned it the hard way. Now I'm stuck with all these pictures of me trying not to look as if I'm posing when I obviously were, in the most beautiful backdrops that should have been the subject, not props. Hmm, thank God for Photoshop CS5 Content-Aware magic trick. Just in time.
It's that feeling. The feeling being in a foreign place and everything to learn. Feeling too much. Seeing so much. The pastry smell. The highly-efficient public transportation. The manual doors. The historical beautiful solid building. The shops. The blue blue sky. The travel companion. The snobs going to/coming back from work. The stuck up dogs. Their more stuck up owners. Their piss. The dogs' piss. The shopping. The sexy guys. The sexier language. The language barrier. The cold. The unexpectant Originas. The walking all day and coming back still smelling nice. The record store. The artsy farty artistic artists art. The comforting instant noodles. The neighbour country. L'amour. "Orlando Bloom". Did I mention that I miss it?
something pretty (cliche) taken by a camera dummy
And I should've taken more pictures. Why can't I be one of those people who takes pictures of EVERYTHING? Then I'd have more things to show. Now I understand why my oh-I'm-so-artistic-I-take-pictures-of-everything-but-myself photography-lover/photographer-wannabe friends crane their heads to the weirdest angle possible, lie on their back shamelessly, carry that huge bulky SLR on their neck religiously. I learned it the hard way. Now I'm stuck with all these pictures of me trying not to look as if I'm posing when I obviously were, in the most beautiful backdrops that should have been the subject, not props. Hmm, thank God for Photoshop CS5 Content-Aware magic trick. Just in time.
It's that feeling. The feeling being in a foreign place and everything to learn. Feeling too much. Seeing so much. The pastry smell. The highly-efficient public transportation. The manual doors. The historical beautiful solid building. The shops. The blue blue sky. The travel companion. The snobs going to/coming back from work. The stuck up dogs. Their more stuck up owners. Their piss. The dogs' piss. The shopping. The sexy guys. The sexier language. The language barrier. The cold. The unexpectant Originas. The walking all day and coming back still smelling nice. The record store. The artsy farty artistic artists art. The comforting instant noodles. The neighbour country. L'amour. "Orlando Bloom". Did I mention that I miss it?
something pretty (cliche) taken by a camera dummy
March 16, 2011
13 things in 13 years
1. Learn how to dance. properly (√)
2. Visit Paris (√), Greece, Japan and Cambodia
3. Read and understand the whole Holy Al-Quran
4. Work in London
5. Witness a Northern lights neon sky
6. Open a cafe gallery/shop
7. Buy a house
8. Get a Masters Degree or a second Degree
9. Wear hijjab
10. Have long hair and then cut it supershort
11. Become an activist or a volunteer
12. Meet John Mayer
13. Sell a painting
2. Visit Paris (√), Greece, Japan and Cambodia
3. Read and understand the whole Holy Al-Quran
4. Work in London
5. Witness a Northern lights neon sky
6. Open a cafe gallery/shop
7. Buy a house
8. Get a Masters Degree or a second Degree
9. Wear hijjab
10. Have long hair and then cut it supershort
11. Become an activist or a volunteer
12. Meet John Mayer
13. Sell a painting
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